Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
