Im at strip club and am horny
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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