I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
