Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
