you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
