"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
