he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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