Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
