I think i peed on brittanys purse
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
