So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
