I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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