I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
