Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
