Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
