May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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