Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
