i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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