How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
