I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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