I can text with my tongue
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
