Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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