Last Night in Alabama (251)

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  What the hell was that?

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Genius. It was sheer genius.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror

  (251): View more from Alabama

  If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning

  (334): View more from Alabama

  ...did you just create a word for what we did?

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway

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