Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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