Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
