so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dick very happy bro
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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