Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
