we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
worst night to have a conscience
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
