NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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