If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
