Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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