did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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