just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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