i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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