I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
