I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
