I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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