Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
