There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
