do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
