just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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