if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
