We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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