I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
