so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
