Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
