so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
