is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
