I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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