I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
