I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
